I was up all night with my mind racing…. Being a stay at home mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me! We have had help along the way and so thankful God has blessed me with the opportunity to be home with my babies. Watching them grow every minute is a luxury that I will never take for granted. It is definitely not an easy job, but the most rewarding. There are days I wanted to pull out every last hair I had on my head, heck even my legs (when do moms have time to shave on a daily? ), when both my babies would whine and it felt like nothing could make them happy. But I wouldn’t even change those days for a second away from them.
Here lately though I’ve really been struggling on our finances. Do I need to go back to work? Will we be able to make it for much longer on one income? The thought of it makes my insides cringe, but is it my only option? I want it all for my kids… Clothes, trips, family outings to the coast… And now it is hard to even make those decisions. My heart is here with my babies…. And in reality I know the “things and materials” of life shouldn’t matter but the struggle is definitely real.
Growing up with not a lot has made me want to give to my kids even more. I still have the mindset of not turning them into spoiled minions and helping them love people and God over money and things. At the same time, I don’t want them to struggle like we did as a young kid.
When I woke up those morning after turning back and forth for hours throughout the night, I read the verse Exodus 14: The Lord will fight for you; stay calm. God always has a way of showing me what I need to be doing. So there we go… Simple as that. As for now I will stay calm and trust Him.